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May 17th, 2004

09:41 pm - Memories, like the corners of my mind...
favorite memories from my first semester at a real college

First night with the roomie we managed to make go fish into a drinking game because there were only two of us

My first party at uconn at johnny t's apartment, I was completely hammered before i even got there

Midnight breakfast: the best food you'll ever have in the dining hall (which isn't saying much)

Valentine's day, a fancy four course meal at the nathan hale inn

open bar at huskies followed by three hours of beer pong followed by passing out on mario's bed and he has to sleep on the couch in the common room

Penny night at the pub, drunken dancing with mario, getting hit on by some kid with green hair who looked about 17

X Lot party with 16,000 drunk kids while the cops stand and watch and do nothing about it, smoking a joint in the middle of a parking lot, then seeing emeka okafor on the way back

Melissa very trashed talking to bryan's friend chris, whom she met once and he didn't remember her for about 5 mins, and she rambled to him for about 15 mins about her "bling".

championship week: riot at carriage after the mens game, lighting some kid's hairsprayed socks on fire with my cigarette outside gampel after the women's game

two random guys behind my dorm were smoking a blunt and i came out with the bowl, so we all shared.

the last night: drinks and wings with shannon and dustin while watching the sox pull off an amazing come-from-behind win over KC

Someone drew a huge penis and sack in the sand volleyball court and it stayed there unharmed for almost a week

visit to wheelock: 30 girls at an all girls school get so excited when a gay guy shows up (chris king: melissa i didn't know your boyfriend was black, i would have asked you black questions!); pong on the littlest table ever

and, saving the best for last: mike came back from penny night stumbling drunk and went straight to bed, me and bryan were laying on the futon, and mike fell out of his bed and pissed all over bryan's desk. way to ruin the mood.
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Tori Amos - Sweet Sangria

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May 14th, 2004

10:57 pm
current clothing:T-shirt and jeans
current mood:shitty
current taste:i could go for a cocktail right now
current hair:bedhead
current annoyance:life
current smell:none
current thing you ought to be doing:getting a massage from a beautiful man -- i ache
current jewelry:earrings and the barbell in my navel
current book:Kurt Vonnegut Hocus Pocus
current refreshment:none, i'm so thirsty
current worry:all my bills for the month are late and i don't have money to pay them
current crush:I guess Bryan still. amazing how someone can treat you like crap but you still love 'em
current favorite celebrity:Usher
current longing:for someone to love me
current music:the news is on the tv
current wish:i wish i could figure out what would make me happy
current lyric in your head:you, you got what i need but you say he's just a friend
current makeup (if you're a girl!):makeup? yeah right
current undergarments:the usual stuff
current regret:i bought a pack of cigarettes today
current desktop picture:phishsons- the guys in phish animated to look like simpsons characters
current plans for tonight/weekend:tonight-sleep; tomorrow, work and hopefully drink
current cuss word du jour:fuck is, was, and always will be my favorite word
current disappointment:its friday night and i'm sitting at home in front of my computer
current amusement:sportscenter
current IM/person you're talking to:Joanna and Frank
current love:don't go there
current obsession:boneless teriyaki wings from Wings over Storrs
current avoidance:life
current thing or things on your wall:Jeff buckley, amy brown faeries, jimi hendrix, and a bunch of random crap
current favorite book:Slaughterhouse Five Kurt Vonnegut
current favorite movie:um... Sleepers i guess

Current Mood: blahblah

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May 13th, 2004

12:42 am
its been 4 days. I wanna fucking chain smoke. ok maybe not chain smoke, but i want one. just one. that's all i can think about right now.

I went to my interview at Dave's today. i start tomorrow in the floral department. My boss sounds like she's gonna be kinda tough. i dont know the first thing about flowers. hopefully i don't kill any. i have to float between stores but its not bad cuz they're all in warwick, NK, and East Greenwich. I just have to remember where i need to go in the morning. unfortunately remembering is not one of my strengths.

oh well, goodnight kids.
Current Mood: hothot
Current Music: D Plan "Come Home"

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May 11th, 2004

09:47 pm - Addiction Kills...
I'm in a bad fucking mood, i think its because as of right now i have not had a cigarette in 69 hours and 47 minutes.

All the sudden i'm getting grief about where i'm going to school. ok, UConn is the best public university on the East Coast. I'm not making it up, US News said this. my parents are picking on me because they think i should go to school in state. um, no, not a chance. And Frank's picking on me because he thinks UMass is a better school. He knows nothing about UConn, he just thinks that there's no opportunities because UConn's in the woods. So's UMass. Both schools are 30 mins from a major metropolis. So as usual i know he's wrong. But of course he thinks he's right because he thinks he knows everything. and as usual i feel about two inches tall.

When i left for school in January, my boss at CVS like BEGGED me to come back for the summer. Well, he got fired at the end of february. the assistant manager was still working there and she gave me some hours over spring break and i met the new manager. I called last week to get my job back for the summer, and the assistant manager no longer works there. ok, this is great. so i talked to the new manager who said he could give me some hours. I went in sunday to check the schedule, i wasn't on it. I called monday morning, he told me he didn't have hours for me, maybe next month though. well that's great. he couldn't have just TOLD me that on the phone two weeks ago, so i could look for a job when i went home that weekend. but its ok now though because my pops got me a job at Dave's. we're making it a family affair (my bro works there too). They better hire me back in january though.

I started this in a horrible mood. but i'm feelin better now because the sox just scored three runs to take the lead in the bottom of the 8th. GO SOX!!!</text>
Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated

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May 9th, 2004

11:59 pm - Honey, I'm home!
Well, I'm home. Everything I own is on the floor of my bedroom. It feels odd to be sitting here in this room, even though this has been my room for 16 years or so. And i'm still trying to be quiet so i don't wake up shannon. i'd have to be pretty loud to wake her because she's at home in connecticut. I'm ready to go back already. well, i'm not ready to go back, but i want it not to have ended. I hate change. This college thing isn't gonna work too well for me if i don't get over that.

I packed my shit up on friday night and was gonna go home but i stayed til saturday morning. Shan and i had wings and drinks and watched the red sox game with two of the people on our floor. we all had breakfast the next morning, i finished packing, left, drove home, unloaded all my stuff really fast, and then drove up to braintree and took the train up to melissa's place at school. They were having this thing called steak and lobster at her house, basically a big cookout with booze and volleyball. a lot of the girls in the house were complaining about how they weren't having fun, they couldn't believe this was steak and lobster, yada yada yada. all the while I was sitting on the porch smoking butts and drinking and i was getting jealous because that was her life and not mine. One of the reasons i went away to school was to make friends and have some fun for once in my life. you know, how college is SUPPOSED to be. Its not like that for me. i'm scared of people.

Bryan graduated this afternoon. I'm never going to see him again. I was ok with that, actually i was GLAD, and now i'm really depressed about it. and i'm pissed off at myself for getting depressed about it, which is making me more depressed. Sigh... I can't wait until i feel like a human being again.

If anyone actually read this whole thing, i just need to say thank you for listening to me whine like a little bitch. love ya.
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: Outkast "Roses"

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May 6th, 2004

11:18 am - IT'S ALIVE!!!
yeah its been awhile (93 weeks to be exact). you wanna fight about it?

I'm only doing this to waste time. which i shouldn't be doing because i have about 75 pages to read and 2 4-page essays to plan out before my exam at 6 tomorrow. I know myself. Its not gonna get done. I'm really disappointed by how things went this semester. I just transfered, i had a good chance to start over get a good GPA and i slacked off hard core. and it wasn't just crappy academically, all around it just sucked. Everything just sucked. It took me forever to even talk to people, everyone i met, including mario, my protector, is graduating. The first real boyfriend I had in like three years broke up with me out of nowhere, said he wanted to stay friends and keep in touch, and now he won't even look at me, let alone stay in the same room as me. But he's graduating too, and i'm never gonna see him again. That bugged me for awhile, now i'm breathing a sigh of relief.

I can't believe the semester's almost over. I never really used to care before, but now I gotta move shit out of a dorm room every year. And people graduate in this place, which is different from what I'm used to. I don't know too many people who actually graduate from CCRI. Most of them just disappear. I don't wanna go home and live with my parents. I never realized how much it would suck to be on your own and then have to go back and have to answer to someone again. I told them I quit smoking too, which I did, for like three weeks or so. So now i'm really gonna have to quit, or tell them that i started again. Quitting would be better for my wallet... and my lungs too i guess. We'll work on it after exams.

One more exam, three more days, and I'm out.

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